Relay for life; miles for Mitchell

by Earlene Ward - Special for the Sierra Star

 

— Submitted photo

Lynette Schrank and Kaylene Friesen admire a quilt made for Mitchell by his classmates at Wasuma School.

— Submitted photo

Mitchell Friesen snuggles with the quilt that includes messages from his third grade classmates.

— Submitted photo

Mitchell Friesen concentrates on the foosball game as he beats his dad, Craig.

 

Mitchell Friesen, a 9-year-old cancer patient, will help carry the survivors’ banner in the third annual Eastern Madera County Relay For Life May 18 and 19 at the Yosemite High School track in Oakhurst. Although he will not be walking on the team, he is the inspiration behind the “Miles For Mitchell” team that will participate in the American Cancer Society event.

Mitchell is one of two cancer survivors for whom the Miles For Mitchell team was formed. The other person is his family’s friend, Lynette Schrank, who has been cancer-free for 12 years. “We are the survivor and the hope,” Mrs. Schrank says of herself and Mitchell. Survivorship and hope are the main focuses of the Relay.

This will be Mrs. Schrank’s third time to walk as a survivor in the Relay. It will be the Friesen family’s second time. Kaylene Friesen recalls last year’s Relay, their first. Mrs. Schrank had gotten them involved and they loved it. “We decided we would be involved every year,” Mrs. Friesen recalls. “Little did we know we would be recipients of the American Cancer Society’s services or that Mitchell would be walking as a survivor.”

Mrs. Schrank recalls the first Relay and how it “emotionally hit me.” She said when she was sick, starting in 1988, she thought she was the only young person who had cancer. “The Relay makes people realize they are not alone,” she says. “You are among people who have walked, literally, in your shoes.” “The Relay puts a face on the American Cancer Society,” Mrs. Friesen says.

Mrs. Schrank began her journey toward being a cancer survivor in 1988; Mitchell’s journey started last November. The Schrank and Friesen families have been friends for five years, meeting through the Evangelical Free Church. The friendship took a very special turn when Mitchell was diagnosed with cancer. Mrs. Schrank provided the kind of support only a survivor can provide.

“I was stuck on ‘why?’,” Mrs. Friesen says of the days and weeks following Mitchell’s diagnosis. Mrs. Schrank taught her that you don’t ask “Why?,” you ask “How? How can I be an instrument in doing God’s will?” “You have today, and that’s a gift,” Mrs. Friesen says. “Why is in the past and that doesn’t help.”

Mr. Friesen notes that everyone has to go through the process of acceptance. While he is quiet and shy with strangers, Mitchell has expressed his thoughts to his parents, letting them know that the experience he has been through the past five months has made an impact on his young life. He told his mother that this has helped him to understand what other people are going through and “It has made my feelings heavier."

Mrs. Friesen adds, "Cancer completely changes your outlook. It makes you realize what's really important and you leave everything else behind." She says it makes their time together as a family more special.

Both Mrs. Schrank and Mrs. Friesen stress how important family is during a time of medical crisis. They both say they can't imagine how they would have gotten through their times of treatment without the help and support of family. "If you don't have family," Mrs. Schrank advises cancer patients, "ask friends for help."

Mrs. Schrank was a 23-year-old mother of two children when she was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Disease in 1988. Her youngest child, Lindsey, was only two months old and she also had a toddler, Jayson.

She learned later that her symptoms were normal signs of Hodgkin's Disease — rapid weight loss and fatigue - but at the time they seemed like common symptoms of someone who had a two-month-old baby and a toddler.

She did not seek medical attention until she noticed a lump in her neck while looking in the mirror. She was not unduly alarmed since she believed it was a thyroid problem, recalling a relative's problem with the thyroid. However, she did go to the doctor as soon as she found the lump. She was seeing a nurse practitioner, who took one look at her and immediately called a doctor and a laboratory technician into the room. They started drawing blood from her right away and sent her for a CAT scan. Even though it was 4 p.m. when the scan was finished, they sent her to see a surgeon who scheduled her for surgery the next day. Through all of this, she still believed she had a thyroid problem. She was given a telephone number to call and that doctor gave her a late afternoon appointment. She realized later he did not want her walking in while the office was filled with cancer patients, as it was during the day. "The doctor sat us down and said, 'You have cancer, but it's a good cancer,'" she recalls.

 

Years of treatment

Two-and-a-half years of chemotherapy, surgery, radiation and other diagnostic procedures followed. There were major surgeries as they checked the lymph nodes and then later removed her spleen. She was scheduled for one surgery when the doctor asked if she was having trouble breathing; she said she was. They cancelled that surgery and then found that there was a lump the size of a grapefruit pressing against her lungs.

After the first two-and-a-half years, there was a waiting period to see if she was cured. Today, she sees a doctor every six months for a check-up.

Through her recollection of those difficult times, there is one thing constant: the importance of family.

Her husband, Jay, her parents, an aunt and her grandmother all joined forces to get the family through this ordeal. For the first two-and-a-half years of her life, Lindsey did not know her mother. Mrs. Schrank's parents cared for the children with Mr. Schrank visiting them at their grandparents' home and then going home to care for his wife.

 After a period of time, it became so difficult that Mrs. Schrank moved in with her grandmother who could care for her around the clock. Her Aunt Nancy drove her to all of her medical appointments.

Even though a family is in a medical crisis, life must go on, Mrs. Schrank comments. Insurance became a very big issue for them since they were self-employed. Also, she did not know about the American Cancer Society and the services it could have provided.

"It would have been a big help," she says now, thinking about wigs, mileage expenses and the support. She has learned in recent years that the ACS "provides wonderful services."

The family moved from Ventura County to Oakhurst 10 years ago. Lindsey is now a seventh grader at Wasuma School and Jayson is a freshman at Yosemite High.

This year, Mrs. Schrank is the team captain liaison for the Relay.

 

Ups and downs

She recalls her years of struggle against cancer as a time of "ups and downs and blessings." She says the children don't really remember her battle "and that is good." She goes on to say, "There is no good time to have cancer; you just deal with it when you get it and don't ask questions."

Last fall, the Friesen family was very busy with soccer. All three children - Melanie, 12, Mitchell, 8 and Mark, 5 — were members of local soccer teams and both parents were coaches.

So, when Mitchell complained of back pain in mid-November they thought he had strained a muscle. They gently massaged his back and applied heat, thinking this would take care of it. After five days of pain, they took him to a pediatrician and a chiropractor.

The pediatrician methodically checked him over and treated him for muscle strain; the pain intensified. Blood tests and other tests all came back normal, but the pain persisted and after a week-and-a-half Mitchell could no longer attend school because the pain was so severe he couldn't sleep at night.

One morning she saw the pediatrician as they both dropped their children off for school and she told her the family had "reached the end." By this time, Mrs. Friesen says, Mitchell was in agony during the night.

The pediatrician made an appointment for Mitchell to have an ultrasound test and a CAT scan on December 10. They were able to see a mass just below the rib cage about the size of a grapefruit. The mass was pushing his liver to one side and his pancreas to the other side and was pressing against his spine.

That same night, he was sent to Children's Hospital Central California (formerly called Valley Children's Hospital) and for the first time, the Friesens heard the word "oncologist." The next day there was a biopsy and on December 14, 2001, they received the official diagnosis: B-cell lymphoma. A medi-port was inserted into Mitchell's chest area at the same time as the biopsy for administration of medication.

The doctors told them, "If you are going to have cancer, lymphoma is a good one to have."

 

‘Totally overwhelmed’

Mrs. Friesen recalls that they were "totally overwhelmed. There was wave after wave of bad news and so many new terms."

Saturday, December 15, Mitchell started his first round of chemotherapy. As the chemotherapy and other medications became common, the family became more and more grateful for the medi-port that makes it so easy to receive medication.

Mrs. Schrank agrees that a medi-port is very helpful; patches of her skin are still like leather because of the numerous times she was injected with medications before she received a medi-port.

After four rounds of chemotherapy, a second biopsy was performed on Mitchell. This one showed that the tumor had shrunk from grapefruit-size to golf ball-size.

Mrs. Friesen recalls hearing the medical staff comment about Mitchell's tumor not being typical and that he "was more like a grown-up." They did not know what this meant until after the second biopsy.

From the start, Mitchell's tumor had been hard as bone, like that of an adult. When they did the second biopsy it was not quite as hard. It was then that they learned if Mitchell's tumor had been soft, as children's usually are, it would have been gone in a week.

Mitchell was scheduled to begin a new series of six chemo treatments in early April. He is scheduled for a total of 10 rounds and has completed half of them. Mitchell doesn't even like to hear the word "chemotherapy." His mother said he used to yell when he heard it, then he started covering his ears, now he takes his fingers and pinches in the air to rub the word out.

When he is undergoing treatment, he is confined to Children's Hospital Central California for one week of treatments and about another week to recover. One time he was in the hospital for a month because of a blister that would not heal.

When Mitchell is in the hospital, his parents are able to stay in the room with him. When they spend an occasional night at home with their other children, his grandparents stay with Mitchell.

 

Another world

The hospital is its own world, Mrs. Friesen notes, and the cancer ward is a community of its own. "There are joys and tragedies," she says. "You learn about the other families." She comments that some parents cannot stay with their children because they live so far away or because of other circumstances. She says it is wonderful to see how the nurses assume a "mommy" role for these children.

Mitchell says the only time he feels good at the hospital is when Tosh visits him. Tosh is a 24-year-old volunteer who spends time with some of the children.

During a recent visit, Mitchell was feeling fine. He was still excited about his recent ninth birthday and the gifts he received: a mini foosball game, tether ball, PlayStation games, clothes, money and a bean bag, to name some of the gifts.

He eagerly brought out his foosball game for a demonstration and he admitted that "usually" he wins when he plays tetherball with other family members. He enjoys his PlayStation games when he is not busy with schoolwork.

Because his immune system is impaired from the chemotherapy, Mitchell cannot attend regular school classes. When he is home, he is taught by Carolyn Bartlett, a home-hospital teacher. His mother teaches him when he is in the hospital and a credentialed teacher is also available.

He says math is his favorite subject. When he grows up, he wants to work in construction, like his father and grandfather.

Although he is not at school, he is not forgotten by his friends and classmates. Three of his friends have joined him as "bald buddies." Matthew Claiborne, Kaiden Grossi and Daniel Brackney all shaved their heads when Mitchell lost his hair.

Mitchell's hair fell out in patches. His mother says he thought it was funny to pull out handsful of hair. He soon tired of the patchy look, however, so they shaved his head.

 

Mitchell’s desk

In his third grade classroom, his desk remains empty. It is "Mitchell's desk" and no one else sits in it. When the classroom is rearranged, his desk is moved too. The students write him notes and call him on the telephone. They made him a special quilt with messages from each student.

"This has encouraged Mitchell in a big way," his mother says. "This helps give him the attitude to keep going. One of these days he'll be back there."

Mrs. Schrank comments that children react differently than adults. "They aren't thinking about death, just that he will be back."

Mrs. Friesen recalls that Mitchell missed his last two soccer games last season. Before the last game, his teammates were going to have a small prayer circle for him; however, word got around to the other teams and they joined in. "Children were praying for him," she says, "children do this because they really mean it."

Just as Mrs. Schrank learned 14 years ago, the Friesens have learned that family is so important in times of emergency.

Mrs. Friesen relates how Mr. Friesen's parents, Wes and Arlene, retired last spring and had been living the RV (recreational vehicle) life. They helped build a church in Tahoe and then at the end of October they stopped off to visit the Friesens in Ahwahnee.

They had been praying about where to go next; they asked to be sent where they were needed. There did not seem to be a response to that prayer, so they stayed on with their son and daughter-in-law. Then, Mrs. Friesen says, after December 10, "their ministry became our family."

When Kaylene and Craig Friesen are with Mitchell at the hospital, Wes and Arlene Friesen care for the other children and for the home.

Mrs. Friesen's parents, Leo and Minnie Franz, live in Fresno and "are available at the drop of a hat." She says they are great about bringing in special food for Mitchell. The hospital allows the children to have whatever they will eat, so if Mitchell thinks he might be able to eat a certain food, a call is made to Grandma and Grandpa Franz and the food is on its way.

Either set of grandparents is available to spend the night at the hospital with Mitchell when his parents go home to be with their other children. "It is a torn feeling," Mrs. Friesen says. "You need to be home for the other children, but you need to be with Mitchell also."

Wes and Arlene Friesen are now having a home built in Yosemite Lakes Park, so they, too, will become mountain residents.

Besides the support of both of their families, the Friesen's friends are also helping.

 "They have circled the wagons," Mrs. Friesen says. They are still bringing food and the family's freezer is full. A trust fund was also set up that helps with expenses such as special filters for their home and meals at the hospital.

 

Great support system

"The community, church and school have stuck by us," she says.

Mrs. Friesen and Mrs. Schrank see the Relay for Life as an extension of this support. "I am totally impressed by the community rallying around in support of the Relay," Mrs. Schrank says.

Mrs. Friesen notes that the American Cancer Society offers help for her family in many ways. This help includes money available for gasoline for their trips to the hospital and "simple, concise information" about cancer.

The family is so grateful for the medical care Mitchell has received they have invited the medical staff who have been involved to be their guests at dinner the night of May 18 at the Relay and to stay for the luminary ceremony.

"They are the people who got him here," Mrs. Friesen says. She notes that they are all trained professionals doing their job, but it's more than that: "They care." She has high praise for the Kaiser facility in Oakhurst and the wonderful care they have received from the people there. "They have been great," she says.

Mrs. Schrank thinks the Relay is a wonderful opportunity for teenagers who participate on teams. "It's awesome that the teens raise money for something that is not for them," she says.

Mrs. Friesen is philosophical as she reflects on the past few months and what has happened in her family:

"Even though our son has cancer and it has changed almost everything about our family, there have been good things - our friends, our priorities. The time we have together is special. The ripple effects will go on from this. God has us on this journey and it's a good thing."

 

Anyone who would like to make a donation to the Miles for Mitchell Team for the Relay for Life can call Lynette Schrank at 683-5066. All funds go to the American Cancer Society.

 

For more information about the Relay for Life, call Gail Gilbert at 877-6500 or Janice Ellis, 683-0968.