YHS staff get pointers on controlling violence

Earlene Ward

 

 

“Our job at school and at home is to teach people to control themselves.”

That was one of the things Dr. Eric W. Hickey, criminal psychology professor at California State University Fresno, told the Yosemite High School staff when he talked to them about school violence recently.

He said there is a pervasiveness of frustration on school campuses and that frustration can lead to aggression. “This can happen in a couple of seconds,” he said. He noted that anger and aggression are often proxy acts, not personal. A person who has become aggressive may strike out at whomever is near.

“So much of our personal pain is vented on others,” Dr. Hickey said. He said sometimes parents who are in pain make life painful for their children without realizing it.

Issues at home are frequently the cause of youths’ problems. Dr. Hickey said dysfunctional families, divorced parents and sadness are among the issues students take to school with them.

“Kids want to fit in,” he said, adding that young people can be cruel to each other. Such things as tripping or pushing a fellow student are forms of cruelty.

What other students and teachers say to young people are also sources of pain.

 

Words hurt

Dr. Hickey paraphrased a common phrase, saying: “Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can really kill me.”

He recalls vividly a comment a teacher made to him in the eighth grade. He had not completed a homework assignment on time and the teacher was chastising him for it. In front of the entire class, the teacher said “Eric will never graduate from high school because he’s too stupid to do his homework.”

Dr. Hickey said he thought to himself, “I’ll show him.” He said he was a late bloomer, though, and although he did graduate from high school he was at the very bottom of his class.

He not only graduated from high school but earned a doctorate in criminal psychology and is, today, internationally recognized for his research on multiple murderers and other habitual criminals. He is frequently seen on television commenting on current criminal cases.

Most recently, he was interviewed nationally and internationally about the sniper attacks on the east coast. He is the author of “Serial Murders and Their Victims,” he frequently consults with law enforcement agencies on high profile cases, and he conducts training seminars for government agencies on a variety of topics in addition to his teaching duties at CSUF.

“It’s all right to be a late bloomer, as long as you don’t miss the flower show,” he commented to a teacher after his presentation at YHS.

Dr. Hickey told the YHS staff that he will always feel badly about a classmate in high school who committed suicide. No one talked to the student, including Dr. Hickey who sat next to him in history class. He believes if he had talked to the young man he might not have killed himself.

 

Suicide signals

Suicidal thoughts are common among teenagers, he said. However, young people want to let others know about their problems and they send signals. “Kids going off the deep end give you signals,” he said. The important thing is that someone recognizes the signal and takes action.

Students who are having problems frequently have a low tolerance for other students and for authority.

Students who bring problems to school with them often create problems for others. This is an issue for school staff because they have an obligation to provide a safe environment for all students.

“If students are afraid, they don’t want to come to school,” Dr. Hickey said. When a student is making others at school afraid, for whatever reason, school officials need to talk to the disruptive student’s parents.

“If the parents don’t deal with it, the courts will,” he said.

“Sometimes for the good of society, a few people have to be sent away,” Dr. Hickey said, “that’s why we have prisons.”

 

Proper discipline

He discussed the difference in punishment and discipline, commenting that prisons are built to punish people and “sometimes it is necessary to punish.”

However, discipline is an opportunity to help. “Discipline has an element of punishment, but it also has love,” he said. “There is no love in punishment.”

It is important to turn discipline into a learning experience for everyone involved, to find out what went wrong and to correct it.

Sometimes, Dr. Hickey said, schools must require counseling for students as a condition of their discipline.

One of the great American pastimes is denial, he said, with people blaming everyone but himself or herself for everything that goes wrong.

Dr. Hickey commented that people today are doing better and making more money but feeling worse about themselves.

“How youth feel about themselves is critical,” he said.

 

Kids need attachments

Children need to form attachments, Dr. Hickey said. They need to be involved in clubs and organizations so they can form memories. They need positive adult role models. He said he still remembers all of his teachers but the ones he remembers best and the ones he liked best were the ones who cared. “And,” he said, “most do.”

Youth who are not involved are the ones who have time for other things, he said.

As part of its focus on connecting all of the students on campus, YHS is in the planning process to bring the Challenge Day program to the school early next year.

This is a program that teaches students how to relate to those who have different lifestyles and beliefs than they have. It focuses on teaching students to be understanding, friendly and compassionate.

Students from every group on campus will be included in the training, along with several staff members.

Efforts are currently underway to raise funds to pay for the Challenge Day program.